I want to go home, but…

I listen to a preacher who gets excited talking about the coming of the lord and I feel sad. It’s not that I don’t want to leave the worries of this life but I have loved ones that aren’t saved. They won’t even talk to me about God. The thoughts of them not being in heaven are almost more than my heart can bare. I don’t want them in heaven for me, I want them there for themselves! The thought of them being in hell for eternity is more than my heart can take.

I am a nurturer by nature, I want to take care of everyone and make everything alright. There have been times I have given when I didn’t have enough for myself. I can’t stand to see others in pain in any form. Perhaps I am too emotional but that is how I am. Even my enemies are included in my prayers. I don’t care what they did, I can’t hate them enough to wish hell on them!

When I pray it always ends in tears, uncontrollable at times. I can’t fix some things like a soul but I can keep praying and I will!